“You can have a 100% successful marriage if you do it God’s way”
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.
Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.
Suzanne Venker’s article, “The War on Men,” which appeared on the website of Fox News in late November, has become a lodestone for feminist writers who have attacked her position that the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.
“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.
She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.
“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.
As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”
“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”
“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”
“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.”
A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.
Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.
“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.
Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.
The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.
Married and Singles need this!
Engaged couples, if you have not already please consult with your Pastor or marriage counselor to get pre-marital counseling. These questions are a MUST!
Important Pre-Marriage Questions | Marriage Today…:
WARNING: EXTREME FOOLISHNESS
The Rev. Marcus Murchinson of Tree of Life Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles, California, is unapologetic. There is nothing wrong with a few expletives in church, he says, because he knows God can handle it. And he is standing his ground even though he’s been getting death threats for his belief.
“The truth is sometimes when I’m praying, my prayers are not ‘guide me o thy great Jehovah, pilgrim through this barren land.’ I’m not quoting from the 23rd Psalm. I’m not quoting from Philippians. Sometimes my prayers have explicit language in them. God I am bleep, bleep, bleep upset. And because of that, I learned that God can handle that,” Murchinson explained in an interview Monday.
His small church in Watts has been at the center of a viral video storm since one of his now fired drummers posted a recording of three young girls doing what he describes as an avant-garde performance of Jay-Z’s “The Story of OJ” from the rapper’s platinum album, 4:44, on Sunday, July 30.
In the recording that runs for about 90 seconds, Murchinson’s congregation appear to watch in silence as the girls step, twirl and throw faux cash in the air to represent “follies” like wasting money on strippers described by Jay-Z in the lyrics of the song replete with the N-word and other explicit language.
Light n*gga, dark n*gga, faux n*gga, real n*gga
Rich n*gga, poor n*gga, house n*gga, field n*gga
Still n*gga, still n*gga
Light n*gga, dark n*gga, faux n*gga, real n*gga
Rich n*gga, poor n*gga, house n*gga, field n*gga
Still n*gga, still n*gga
You wanna know what’s more important than throwin’ away money at a strip club? Credit
You ever wonder why Jewish people own all the property in America? This how they did it
Financial freedom my only hope
F**k livin’ rich and dyin’ broke
I bought some artwork for one million
Two years later, that s**t worth two million
Few years later, that s**t worth eight million
I can’t wait to give this s**t to my children
Y’all think it’s bougie, I’m like, it’s fine
But I’m tryin’ to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
I turned that 2 to a 4, 4 to an 8
I turned my life into a nice first week release date…
“The one thing that’s apparent about language is that there’s a difference between cursing or using derogatory language and using colloquial language,” Murchinson said. “What Jay-Z was using in this particular presentation was not inflammatory or derogatory. He was making a point to just communicate in a colloquial dialect that people understand … Ain’t a word in that song that I don’t know myself, that my congregation doesn’t know and or have used. So why do we come into God’s house and act like we don’t know it?”
While the controversial post also included a dance performance by the young girls to Tasha Cobbs’ more traditional gospel song “Break Every Chain,” it is the performance set to the secular Jay-Z song that has received the most attention. The clip has received nearly 4 million views on Facebook alone as of Tuesday evening, four times the views of the performance set to “Break Every Chain.”
And most reactions to the clip do not share Murchison’s appreciation for colloquialism in the house of the Lord.
Los Angeles-based Christian entertainer Kevin Fredericks, popularly known as KevOnStage, summarized the pointed criticism from the conservative Christian community in a post on YouTube.
“Let me just say, I don’t know how this happened guys. I like to think of things from everybody’s point of view and try to understand the logic behind when things happen crazy in church. I don’t know the logic because generally the kids got to get this approved by somebody and I just don’t know who approved it,” he said.
“I don’t know where the people are that stop these things. The dance team? The parents, the pastors, the sound board, the motherboard? They threw money at the motherboard. They made it rain on Mother Gladys, she been in church 80 something years,” he quipped.
Some people were so upset said Murchinson, who is a trained sociologist and military veteran, said that they threatened to kill him.
“We had death threats here at the church. Religious zealots just like the Pharisees and Sadducees wanted to kill Jesus. I don’t believe that they want to kill me, I just think that they want to scare me but here’s the problem, you’re dealing with someone who served in the United States military and served in two war tours. I committed myself to God that I will be what He was — committed unto death … We had about five or six that came across here,” he told CP.
The Navy veteran said the decision to include the Jay-Z song in his presentation two Sundays ago was due to a study his church conducted in Watts to find out why they did not attend neighborhood churches.
“Most of my congregants, and I’m not too sure if this is a cross-country problem or just specific to Watts, but I do know that in most of our predominantly black churches in the innercity … our parishioners do not live in the community that the church sits in. They’re often commuters. So what I wanted to do was try to find out why the community doesn’t come to the church,” he said.
“We found that a majority of the people didn’t come to church because they no longer related to the Judeo-Christian understanding that the prophet was no longer myself or some of our black pioneers Bishop Jakes, Bishop Jones … they no longer had the prophetic conscience of this community. But there was a different prophet that did … p-r-o-f-i-t.
“They looked at the black church only as being the profit entity and not prophetic. They no longer found them to be oracles of God but just institutions that were trying to make money. And so we asked them, who do you look up to? Who are the voices that speak prophetically to your generation, your issue? And they told me, Chance the Rapper, who I did not know. But I did go back and do my homework on him and found out that he donated $1 million of his own money to help right the wrong of Chicago and not one church is on record doing anything of that caliber,” Murchinson said.
“They told me that they listened to Jay-Z and that this song, ‘The Story of OJ,’ was so pertinent to some of the socio-economic dysfunction that they were seeing in Watts as we are watching Watts become regentrified, through its housing development. So what happened was, I then took that and revisited an argument from academia,” he explained.
He then pointed to the argument of social critic and author James Baldwin against the church and complained that the church had become too pious.
“James Baldwin said he did not support the church because the church on Sunday mornings in America is the most segregated place. I don’t think it is so much of a racial divide anymore, I think that the divide is now, it’s become piety. We have this generation of individuals who are pious and out of touch, who want to hold on to traditions that may not be effective, may not be working but all the more they just expose it and not address the concerns of now. So we have a generation of individuals who are transparently struggling and no one completely cares,” he said.
“What I have noticed in just looking at this particular fiasco is that there are so many individuals who are judgmental, traditional, who are addressing this only from the confines of their religious asceticism. They are trying to tell me that I’m not holy, that Jay-Z is a devil worshiper.
“I don’t know consciously if they’ve ever heard Jay-Z worship the devil or if Jay-Z has ever come out and said that he worships the devil but what I do know is that Jay-Z single-handedly on Father’s Day bailed out 107 black men out of jail so that they could be with their families. Our church did something similar. I took the template from him. On Mother’s Day, we bailed out two women out of jail. We have a fatherhood program. So my point is we decided to take a risk, we took a risk to really go against the confines of the religious infrastructure because what I realize is most of this infrastructure loves to keep people weak,” he said.
“We cook fried chicken, we eat pound cake and die of heart attack and will serve the same stuff at the repast. Something is wrong with the black church that does not address the issues that are relevant, prevalent to our people and so what we wanted to do was to try to show that young folk can praise God with a conscious message that speaks empirical truth. Jay-Z’s message, whether you agree with his presentation, it didn’t matter, it was empirically true.”
So why not simply just use a clean version of the song if he liked Jay-Z’s message so much?
“Because unlike the world or any other institution, I believe the church should be the one place where we are transparent and 100 percent true. I don’t know what has happened where we believe we have to domesticate God because God’s presence ain’t strong enough to handle our truth? The Bible says, not my words, those that worship him must worship in spirit and in truth,” Murchinson said.
“In the black church, I’ve seen fights break out in the sanctuary. I’ve heard of scandals of individuals having sexual relations in the church, I’ve heard of individuals smoking on parking lots, I’ve heard of individuals drinking in the church,” he said, noting that none of these things have happened at his church under his watch.
“If our truth is, this is how I speak out of church, you shouldn’t be trying to hide and become a hypocrite and saying that you don’t speak like that in the presence of God. Because then what we become are hypocrites and we promulgate a hypocrisy,” he explained.
“If we just be real about this thing. Think about this thing with an open mind and objectively. Do you think that every individual in the Bible that countered troubles, trials or tempests, did not have some form of what we could call cursing or language that could be inflammatory? Jonah sitting in the belly of the whale … you can’t tell me in that one moment Jonah did not sink with inflammatory language.
“You can’t tell me that the three Hebrew boys tossed in the fiery furnace, the fire has been turned up seven times hotter, are singing with the sound track of ‘Amazing Grace.’ You can’t tell me that. I can’t be convinced of that because I know humanity and I know that our humanity sometimes have conflicts with our divinity and our spirituality and God has no problem with that,” he said.
Pastor Ronald Thompson, former senior pastor at Mount Sinai United Holy Church in North Carolina and father of Ben Thompson Murchinson’s former drummer who was fired for posting the video online, suggested that he was heading in the wrong direction with his ministry.
“To the Pastor who fired my son for posting the pre-sermonic performance at one of your services on Facebook – I just want you to know what you have done. You have fired a young man of integrity. You have disposed of an asset with potential far beyond that of a musician. My son, Benjamin Alexander Thompson is a child of destiny. I consecrated his life to God when he was born. I do not present him to you as perfect. But perfection is in his DNA,” he wrote in a post on Facebook.
“We all need a spiritual gadfly whom God will use to startle and provoke us into remaining true to the message we have been taught! Rather than embracing the gadfly you have chosen to swat it! I implore you to consider the mercy of God who placed such a one in your presence. Ben was the unidentified angel in your midst. He was placed in your ministry to clear his throat at an offering that perhaps required more forethought. Prophets are often persecuted. Some of them have been killed for calling necessary attention to our spiritual missteps. This is not unusual. But we all must be expectant of the woe that will follow!” he warned.
When asked if his drummer was fired because he disagreed with the Jay-Z song being played in church and if that was the reason he shared the clip on social media, Murchinson said he did not want to speculate on whether or not the musician had an issue with his decision to use the Jay-Z song in his sermon.
“What I will say is that he did violate the internet policy of the church for its staff members in worship and so because of that, that was the ramification for that particular behavior. I don’t know, all I can do is, I read the same comment that you read that said he had no ill-will and I trust that,” he said.
As for how his parishioners are doing in light of the furor over the performance, the pastor said: “My parishioners knew about this three weeks before. We were all prepared. We all knew. There was a point in the service where I remind them that this is going to be an unconventional presentation and that we were praying about this, let’s pray one more time for this so that we do not get offended but that we become empowered or at least walk away with an open mind.
“And so my parishioners have no problem. My church has supported me through this. They have been the ones to encourage me, they have been the ones that want to defend me and I’ve asked them not to do so because we’ll be vindicated by being different.”
As for his critics, Murchinson called them hypocrites and “n*ggas” for judging him and his church before getting the appropriate context of the controversial presentation.
“They (critics) make judgments based off their feelings, emotions and they’re never coming to Watts. They are never coming to Tree of Life and so it’s dangerous. It’s so immature, and it is what Jay-Z calls n*gga. Still n*gga. This is what n*ggas do. That ‘n*gga’ word really refers to unintelligent, ignorant. So it’s ignorant for them to make an assumption based on 90 seconds and they don’t know the three years of work that I have labored here,” he said.
The Dangers of the Last Days 2 TIMOTHY 1:1-9
1You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!
6They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of a vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. 7(Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) 8These teachers oppose the truth just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses. They have depraved minds and a counterfeit faith. 9But they won’t get away with this for long. Someday everyone will recognize what fools they are, just as with Jannes and Jambres.
I was listening to a new Christian Pop radio station called NGEN radio, an extension of KSBJ radio. They have this segment of the morning show where they talk about current events that’ve occurred. They offer listeners an opportunity to call in on the matter and so on…
This particular day they were discussing an online dating service called Tender. They discussed how Tender sponsored a man and woman who never met in person who where chatting for sometime. They purchased them a free trip to Hawaii for their first date. Of course this being supposedly a Christian radio station, the female Hispanic Host made a joke saying, “make sure you two get two separate hotel rooms, you guys don’t know each other that well yet.”
What is that supposed to mean? Is it supposed to mean wait six months before having sex like Steve Harvey suggests or at least not until they both feel like they know each other well enough before sex?
The broadcast staff shouldn’t have even mentioned this unless they were going to give some basic-sound Christian advice like: DON’T GO ON THE TRIP! It’s that simple. The bible says… Why didn’t didn’t they take this route? Perhaps for more views, to cater to unbelievers, to get more donations…, who knows. What we do know is that, that particular broadcast has left thousands even further lost and gave them a license to sin.
It’s frustrating to always see alleged Christians that have some sort of platform with a chance to extend the Gospel holistically without compromise continue to fold in those moments.
Listen to a broadcast about fornication:
The Kingdom Church of Houston | Baby food: The Truth About Fornication